vita nouva / diary
"The Rose Garden by Carl Aagaard"
19/12/2025

I told some people before about my conspiracy theory of Google making Chromium development experience completely difficult, requires many adhocs setups, extremely slow and difficult to fork it to customize the interface/behavior, as a purpose of them trying to limit the possible Chrome clones. I'm now considering that AWS (Amazon) is making services like CloudWatch so terrible to search and trace, so you have to use something much more expensive like Live Tail. I'm aware that such a behavior is common in product design, some apps will be more feature-rich on the mobile app rather than on the web interface (usually because the app is more profitable, data-collection-wise), but it's an interesting instance to see such a usage with cloud providers. #Programming

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25/11/2025

I don't think I ever got to talk about much I hate Microsoft. I will use this post to express how much I hate Microsoft.

I'm pro-FOSS and pro-Freedom, however, people who know me know that I do hate Apple and other big tech, but just not as much as I hate Microsoft. I believe that Microsoft is responsible for making one of the most terrible operating systems ever (along with other many low quality products) which was (is?) responsible for making the computing experience really terrible for people who are not much into computing. This resulted in making every task that might require using a computer a burden to these people.

I'm not talking about power users or developers who can work around Windows' quirks. I'm talking about your aunt who needs to send an email, the small business owner trying to manage inventory, the teacher preparing a presentation. Microsoft took what should have been straightforward tasks and wrapped them in layers of mysterious failures, cryptic error messages, and mandatory restarts.

The real issue isn't that software has bugs, every system does. The real issue is that Microsoft built an operating system that treated its users with contempt. Windows 95 through Windows 11 trained an entire generation to believe that computers are fundamentally unreliable, that losing work is just part of the deal, that random crashes are inevitable.

They normalized dysfunction. People don't say "my Mac kernel panicked" or "my Linux box went down." They say "Windows crashed again" with the resigned tone of someone describing weather. Microsoft convinced the world that computing is inherently fragile and frustrating.

Modern Windows is an archaeological dig. You've got Control Panel coexisting with Settings, two different interfaces for system configuration because Microsoft couldn't commit to either. You've got ancient Win32 APIs next to WinRT next to whatever they're calling the current framework. Each generation of Windows adds layers without fully removing the old ones.

This matters because it destroys predictability. In any well-designed system, once you learn the patterns, you can reason about how things should work. Windows teaches learned helplessness. Settings might be in Control Panel, or Settings, or a right-click menu, or a PowerShell command, or not exposed at all. Every task becomes a treasure hunt.

People who defend this as "backward compatibility" are missing the point. Backward compatibility is running old binaries. This is keeping decades of UI confusion and architectural mistakes on life support because Microsoft can't be bothered to make clean breaks.

Microsoft normalized the idea that computers need to be rebooted to function properly. Not rebooted to apply updates, that's reasonable. Rebooted because something got into a weird state and nobody knows what. Rebooted because that's just what you do when Windows acts up.

This became the universal tech support answer because it actually worked disturbingly often. That's not a feature, it's an admission that the system's state management is so broken that burning it down and starting over is easier than debugging.

Servers running Linux or BSD regularly go years between reboots. macOS machines might reboot for major updates but rarely for anything else. Windows? "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" became a cultural meme specifically because of Microsoft's inability to build a stable operating system.

The cost of Microsoft's approach isn't measured in blue screens it's measured in human potential wasted. Every hour someone spent fighting with Windows instead of doing actual work. Every person who gave up on learning to use computers because Microsoft made it unnecessarily hard. Every creative project abandoned because dealing with Windows was too frustrating.

Microsoft had the resources and market position to build something genuinely excellent. Instead, they built something barely adequate and spent decades defending it. They trained the world that computing is supposed to be painful.

That's why I hate Microsoft more than Apple or Google or any other tech giant. Apple locks you into their ecosystem, sure. Google vacuums up your data. But Microsoft convinced generations of people that computers are fundamentally hostile tools that barely work. They normalized dysfunction at a scale that damaged the entire industry's relationship with its users.

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21/11/2025

Unsure when I will be able to read my old journal, bravely. I had this in my daily TODOs: "Run salih/org-search-entries-with-today-date and salih/open-journal-file-for-today". these were elisp functions that were showing me my log and journal for the same day of the current month, but for past years. Sounded like a fun idea at first, but it started to get extremely gloomy after couple of days, then weeks. Then I completely stopped doing it because it really harmed my mood. I rescheduled the activity to the far future, hopping that better me will be able to handle his feeling appropriately. He will probably come through this note in November's 21st, I hope he will be glad.

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14/11/2025

Just wanted to say that I love https://photos.nwalsh.com/. I contacted Norm a year ago: "Hi Norm, I really enjoy browsing through your gallery https://photos.nwalsh.com/images/ndw I would like to build something similar, is the software that serves the website available for others to use? Thanks in advance." he responded: " I’ve reimplemented that a couple of times. I don’t think I ever published the current incarnation. It’s Node.js on the front and Postgresql on the back, so pretty standard stuff. I’ll put “package it up in a public repo” on my todo list, but it’s a long, long list. :-) Be seeing you, norm". I responded: "Thanks. If possible, please let me know if you release it someday. That might be a fit for an additional line in your todo :).". He responded: "I’ll try to remember. To be honest, if I was starting over today, I’d be looking hard at setting up a Pixelfed instance. That might be worth exploring. Something for your todo list, perhaps :-) Be seeing you, norm". This was at Fri, 23 Aug 2024 13:50:01 +0100. I found his response fun. I added it indeed to my long TODO, and I consider pinging him in couple of months.

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05/11/2025

Sometimes I develop feelings for books, scientific materials and tutorials. I wrote about this in Nostalgic Bibliography. One of the science books I had this experience with was Shaffer, C. Algorithm Analysis book. I wanted a lot to email Dr. Shaffer about how much I enjoyed his book, but I never found the best words, so I never did. Today I've noticed that I had the same feeling for Matt Holiday's <https://www.youtube.com/@mattkdvb5154> Go tutorial. I have a theory that he made this tutorial because he wanted to gain from time at home during the pandemic. Such a well spoken person and a great teacher. #Go and #Programming

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02/11/2025

I still remember Aljazira's old Arabic UI very well, it was very alive, feature-rich, has a lot of surprises and just "alive". It was a portal to the internet. There are still snapshots of it in the Wayback Machine. I feel a lot of nostalgia for it.

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01/11/2025

I just noticed that there are some artists that I would 'love' listening to, but I feel to embarrassed looking them up (and I can't answer why, because there's really no obvious reason for this feeling for me), so I been doing something uncanny; I would open Apple's random selections for me (aka. station), start the playback, and hope that it will pass by that artist or that song at some point. #Music

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29/10/2025

Some quick notes I had recently. The world lost a lot from transforming the concept of playing from having joy and fun with others using tools and rocks, to sitting in front of a computer monitor staring at pixel dots. #Modus Vivendi

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25/10/2025

Discovered Ghada Ghanem this week, her music is really different and interesting. I was surprised this is my first time to stumble upon her. Her music in Arabic is very special, but sadly she only has couple of ones in Arabic. #Music

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24/10/2025

I have never been asked this question, but I think it's extra scary. So scary that I think about it even I was not questioned. My problem with this question is simple; it does not only imply that you are being a disappointment and a failure, but it also tells about you that you are not responsible that you are still willing to produce, work, or go to the exam, even when you know you can not do your best, due to your presumed "back home" situation. It's a question of dignity too, not only performance.

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22/10/2025

I enjoyed this week of going through de Volpedo's art. It was very interesting. When I saw that he died before aging 40 I thought "greats die young", attributed his death to his life-style. Little I knew that he committed suicide. The Wikipedia page about him sneaks that information real quick "It seemed the beginning of a new period of favour, in which finally artistic and literary groups would recognize the themes of his work. However, the sudden death of Pellizza's wife in 1907 threw the artist into a deep depression. On 14 June of the same year, Pellizza hung himself in his Volpedo studio. He was not yet 40." His story with Giovanni Segantini is as equally tragic. I wonder if any media works, novels, or the like portrayed this tragic life of his. #Art

  • [2025-10-24 Fri 02:16]
    I tried to look for anything that documents his life or letters, but in vain.

CLOCK: [2025-10-24 Fri 02:14]–[2025-10-24 Fri 02:20] => 0:06

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20/10/2025

Years ago, a meeting between Noam Chomsky and Episten was highly discussed on the r/Chomsky subreddit. I didn't give it much attention because I know how Dr. Chomsky rarely does research of the people he conducts interviews with. However, doing some research now I can see that Episten was kinda of an octopus of connections. Apparently, Epstein had a lot of philanthropy work, worked with MIT professors, funded multiple universities and had met with many figures in the scientific and intellectual community, Chomsky just happens to be one of them more on that here. Regarding the funds, Chomsky explained that it was from his own money "In response to questions from the Journal, Chomsky confirmed that he received a March 2018 transfer of roughly $270,000 from an Epstein-linked account. He said it was “restricted to rearrangement of my own funds, and did not involve one penny from Epstein". Anyway, I think that Chomsky's personal life matters or should be associated in consideration of his ideas or works. #Jeffrey Episten #Noam Chomsky

CLOCK: [2025-10-20 Mon 21:04]–[2025-10-20 Mon 21:41] => 0:37

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14/10/2025

There's that common idea in Nietzsche philosophy about how you can't really do good if you never get the authority, power and ability to do harm. "Of all evil I deem you capable: Therefore I want good from you. Verily, I have often laughed at the weaklings who thought themselves good because they had no claws". I'm reading currently about philosophy of consent, and the idea that power imbalance nullify consent, and I find many reasons to see Nietzsche's view of power here connected, yet no one is mentioning it in literature I found.

  • [2025-11-19 Wed 00:57]
    Jefferson-Hemings is a good example for this tension. Jefferson owned Sally Hemings i.e. literal "claws" in the form of legal authority to sell, punish, or kill her. His capacity for relative kindness (freeing their children, maintaining a relationship rather than disposal) was inseparable from his absolute power over her. But that same power makes consent impossible unde. The power enabling any "choice" simultaneously negates it.
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01/10/2025

Is not this a true autumn day? Just the still melancholy that I love—that makes life and nature harmonise. The birds are consulting about their migrations, the trees are putting on the hectic or the pallid hues of decay, and begin to strew the ground, that one’s very footsteps may not disturb the repose of earth and air, while they give us a scent that is a perfect anodyne to the restless spirit. Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns. - Letter to Maria Lewis. #Literature #Modus Vivendi

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30/09/2025

Today was my first day reading La Belle Dame sans Merci (poem) (wiki). I have seen the paintings before, but I never knew about the poem. It's amazingly beautiful. Here's a beautiful reading of it, and an amazingly poetic Arabic translation. #Literature #Art

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27/09/2025

There's an uploaded video on YouTube on a channel that posts "unintentional ASMR"s, which are videos that can be used for an "ASMR purpose" but they were not intended to be so. One of these videos, is Chomsky speaking about surveillance. One commenter said: "If you actually listen to what he says, you won't get any sleep."

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20/09/2025

I spent last night rewatching Cast Away. The last time I watched it was when I was lost, my perception about it was alike the one I had to other mainstream films that his return to life was not respectful to everyone around him (i.e. main character delima). What I could remember before my watch was something like that her wife either stays with her new husband, or she leaves her new husband for him, both are equally awful. But the ending doesn't show Kelly leaving her new husband. Instead, there's a bittersweet final meeting between Chuck and Kelly where they acknowledge their love for each other, but Kelly chooses to stay with her current family. Chuck ultimately lets her go and drives away to start his new life. The film ends with Chuck at a crossroads (literally and figuratively), suggesting hope for his future as he decides which direction to take. #Cinema

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03/09/2025

In ATLA, the episode S01E03 ends in a way that I just noticed it in a rewatch I'm makign now. Aang is realizing that the world he knew and loved is no longer there again for him, however, the realization is not there yet until he is saying goodbye to his home, flying away from it, looking at it and contemplating his memories that will never be revived again, and thinking of how it is going to be a very long journey in this new world he spawned into. How ironic that I watched this as a kid, with memories that I yearn everyday to revive, but will never be able to. It's really a spectacular scene. And a spectacular show.

  • [2025-09-06 Sat 15:03]
    I still wish I could learn how to be a good teacher like Iroh was. My exeperience has teached me that I'm terrible at teaching, not exactly at transfering knowledge (in which I believe I'm outstanding) but in keeping my temper when my students do not get what I'm saying, or do not apperciate it. We call this in Arabic Holm.
  • [2025-09-06 Sat 15:00]
    I learned a lot from this show as a kid. I learned responsability and sacrifice.
  • [2025-09-06 Sat 02:16]
    I'm rewatching the show slowley for the fisrt time now, and I'm realizing how absurd was the reason that made Katara hate Jack a lot. I always remembered him as her cheater ex-boyfriend who lied to her horribly. I even remember believing that he tried to trade Aang with the fire nation at least (that's how I was trying to understand why Katara hated him that much), founded that he just lied to her about destroying a settlement. I personally agree with views like his: there is no victories without some loses (can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs), and I think it was not that big of a reason to hate on Jack (well, maybe his dishonesty?). It's a bit sad that we had to live with a leftover like Jack in the show.
  • [2025-09-04 Thu 02:16]
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6FbPLEW_p4 I uploaded the scene.
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21/08/2025

"Life is tremendously sad" While I don't totally agree with his life perception, I really love how Louie is so consistant on his philosophy. I'm pretty sure that the show was written with an intense care for ideas and different philosophies, as it even discusses many moral issues as of the course of it. This same part that louie talks about here in the video reminded me of that episode (too lazy to reference the exact one) when his Hungarian girlfriend leaves, and he tells the doctor about it and the doctor tells him that what he feels now is "love", or like he puts it in the linked reference: "Sadness is poetic, you're lucky to live sad moments".

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09/08/2025

View on the Catskill, Early Autumn. The details on the painting are incridable, they were even difficult for me to comperhend. It reminded me of cartoon shows that I used to watch in my childhood of heros having adventures in a very big jungles. #Art

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02/08/2025

The Late Show episodes from the Louie show are really interesting. They give me a deep gloomy vibe as they used to when I watched them for the first time. For some reason I believed that this really happened with Louie CK in the real life, but I think it might be symbolic to something else. Funny enough that I used to watch it when I started interviewing for the first time, so it was very relevant. It was also the reason why I stopped watching Louie. I remember asking Antar: "Hey, is it going to be depressive starting from season 3?".

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29/07/2025

This is an LLM written introduction into the theory of value. It's easy to understand and I thought it might be useful for people who want to quickly understand how value works. "Workers don't own what they produce. The products of their labor become commodities owned by capitalists and sold back to workers in the market." for me, this part is the most painful, when I work under a capitalist system.

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25/07/2025

The Be Right There episode is probably the most heartbreaking episode of Black Mirror. I was rewatching it right now. I just noticed how Jack gave his mother a fake smile in that old photo, the girlfriend says "Well, she didn't know it was a fake one", "That makes it worse" he responded. Which is the whole point of the episode. I love this kind of symbolism. #Postmodern Abyss: Black Mirror

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24/07/2025

View of the Pont au Change from Quai de Gesvres by Jean-Baptiste Camille Corot I noticed how almost all Corot paintings are not very colorful, his era is the beginning of less vibrant art. #Art

  • [2025-08-05 Tue 21:49]
    Another example is Souvenir of the Villa Borghese (1855).
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20/07/2025

I spent some time today reading about the Maxist Internet Archive history. I used to contribute to the Arabic section back in the day before realizing that this was not really helpful1. Anyway, I found it quite funny that it didn't take them much time to have their first fight: " By 1996 the website, Marx.org, was hosted by a commercial ISP. This was followed by an increased activity from the volunteers. In the following years, however, a conflict developed between the volunteers working on the website and Zodiac, who retained control of the project and domain name. As the scope of the archive expanded, Zodiac feared that the opening toward diverse currents of Marxism was a "slippery slope" toward sectarianism. The volunteers who had been undertaking the work of transcribing texts resented having little influence over the way in which the archive was organized and run. In early 1998 Zodiac decided that Marx.org would return to its roots and that all writers other than Marx and Engels would be removed.


1

I'm not talking here about Marxism, but contributing to Arabic translation, such contributions are not really helpful at this point, as you can not reach such an advanced point in learning something without mastering the lingua de franca.

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19/07/2025

Raksit Lelia's music video is one of the best music videos I ever watched. It's really impressive that Sinno contributed to such an amazing work when he was only 20 years old. #Music

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05/07/2025

There's an observation that I thought about as a kid watching that movie, powerful training montage where Mulan is struggling to complete the challenge of retrieving an arrow from the top of a tall wooden pole. The movie supposed to go in the theme that after some life-changing exercises, effort, and most importantly mindset, she is finally able to do this very hard challenge. But She actually were never able to, what happens instead is that instead of letting the weights drag her down, she uses them as tools. She loops the straps of the weights together to form a grip, anchoring herself on the pole. While this sounds smart and everything; it is not what the exercise is meant for, otherwise there would be many other smarter and easier ways to get the arrow, the exercise was meant for bare brute strength, not thinking differently. #Cinema

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05/07/2025

The rise of Whatever: I'm not sure if the author is aware of that, but this nice article up there is a really good critique of capitalism and how it ruined almost every small shred of goodness on the internet. #Capitalism #Selected Good

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20/06/2025

Alexandre Cabanel has a painting of this name depicting a black man with some North African features. What interests me that it has a name on the top right, it reads like: محمد بن الدبم. I wonder who is that and how the interaction between him and Cabanel went like. #Art

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13/06/2025

Form Papers and journals: "Encounter on 30 Nov., when they were doing Two Days, with an unknown but beautiful lady (she spoke German) – she was alone in the stalls with a little brother – she understood the music." It's an interesting remark. It's really interesting to see someone who understands the music. #Kierkegaard

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06/06/2025

I was reading What Would Kierkegaard Do?. This part made me laugh a lot: Did Kierkegaard offer anything on Muhammad and Islam? Hong predicts there won’t be much. Osama, if you’re reading this, now’s the time to turn the page. #Kierkegaard

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10/05/2025

The art works of Aagaard are very touching, it reminds me of my old town, some obscure places in which you wold only notice such moments that are in his paintings. It is sad that most of them are not available in high quality online, probably purchased in some rich palaces around the world. #Art #Carl Aagaard

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10/05/2025

The art works of Aagaard are very touching, it reminds me of my old town, some obscure places in which you wold only notice such moments that are in his paintings. It is sad that most of them are not available in high quality online, probably purchased in some rich palaces around the world. #Art #Carl Aagaard

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03/05/2025

The Massacre of the Monks of Tamond by Sir Lawrence Alma-Tadema origins – I liked this painting a lot and I felt the urge to learn more about its history, but looks like we do not know anything about what Alma-Tadema refered to there, he was 19 years old when he painted it. It's either: A fictional or imagined scene created by Lawrence Alma-Tadema early in his career, or a reference to a now-obscure historical or legendary episode—possibly medieval or religious in nature—that hasn't survived in mainstream records. #Art

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03/05/2025

TIL that Constanze Mozart, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart wife, was married latter to Nikolaus Von Nissen, one of the people who admired Mozart a lot and worked on writing a biography for him. I'm wondering if he liked the man that much to marry the same woman who lived with him, or did he just used her for his project, or, in fact, loved her. #Music #History

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18/12/2024

I wrote about the Industry and Consumption of Pornography a while ago. Today I learnt that Jean Baudrillard has a related theory[cite:@lenoir-2023-philos-desir p.45] that reminded me of the Social Learning theory in the sociobiological theories of rape: Jean Baudrillard wrote the following maxim: "Sexuality does not hide in tolerance, repression, or morality, it is certainly hidden in what is more sexual than sex itself: pornography." In Baudrillard's view, the global success of pornography is not a result of sexual liberation but rather the triumph of capitalism, which turns everything into a commodity, including bodies that lose their ability to enjoy and experience desire. Hans Blüher continued where Baudrillard’s works left off and tried to show that the transition from sexual desire to pornography marks the boundary of the "unforgivable violation" with absolute permission—driven immediately by the urge to fulfill expectations and fantasies. This, he claims, signals the end of otherness in sexual and romantic relationships. The body of the other is consumed and discarded as if it were a consumable and disposable object. The desire for the other becomes a desire for oneself alone. We now strive for comfort, safety, and ease in the field of unity and isolation. Today’s love is free of all excess and all sin (…). Eros aims for the other in an emotional sense, yet does not allow itself to recover in the system of the self. In this identical, increasingly homogeneous society, contradictions no longer exist, and hence no erotic experience. This assumes a state of both internal and external dissonance.

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10/12/2024

I found an interesting piece by Leo Tolstoy: https://www.marxists.org/archive/tolstoy/1900/slavery-of-our-times.html on wage labor: Slavery exists in full vigor, but we do not perceive it, just as in Europe at the end of the Eighteenth Century the slavery of serfdom was not perceived. People of that day thought that the position of men obliged to till the land for their lords, and to obey them, was a natural, inevitable, economic condition of life, and they did not call it slavery. It is the same among us: people of our day consider the position of the laborer to be a natural, inevitable economic condition, and they do not call it slavery. And as, at the end of the Eighteenth Century, the people of Europe began little by little to understand that what formerly seemed a natural and inevitable form of economic life-namely, the position of peasants who were completely in the power of their lords-was wrong, unjust and immoral, and demanded alteration, so now people today are beginning to understand that the position of hired workmen, and of the working classes in general, which formerly seemed quite right and quite normal, is not what it should be, and demands alteration. #Modus Vivendi

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12/11/2024

It's been said we are in the age of pricing. The Age of Commodity. I had a lot of thoughts about that when I was reading this paragraph from Harper's review (“Were all going to be dead soon.”): In the United States, it was reported that the Microsoft founder Bill Gates, the world's twelfth-richest person, secretly gave $50 million to an organization supporting the campaign of the Democratic presidential candidate; and that the Tesla and SpaceX co-founder Elon Musk, the world's richest person, had been warned by federal prosecutors of the potential illegality of his practice of giving $1 million each day to a randomly selected swing-state voter who signed a petition for his super PAC that backs the Republican presidential candidate. 1 2 3 4 In Moldova, where last month it was reported that the Russian government had paid at least 130,000 people more than $15 million to vote against joining the European Union, authorities announced that they had identified an additional $24 million also directed toward purchasing the votes of 20 percent of the entire electorate; violence erupted at polling stations across the country of Georgia, where international observers warned of Russian “vote-buying” in its parliamentary elections and whose president said that the elections' results “cannot be accepted” and should be opposed with protests in the streets; and police in Mozambique shot and killed at least ten of the thousands of demonstrators marching against the ruling party's claim that it had just won more than 70 percent of votes nationally. 5 6 7 8 9 Days before Uzbekistan's parliamentary elections, a would-be assassin fired five bullets at the car of the country's former head of communications, who was lobbying for reforms to protect press freedoms; and in Bulgaria, hackers published a list of more than 200 businessmen and government officials who are alleged to have bought votes under the direction of the former owner of 6 of the country's 12 largest-circulating newspapers. 10 11 12 It was reported that an internal battle in the Iranian government over the 85-year-old ayatollah's successor would likely be won by his second son, a former de facto commanding officer in the Basij who was accused of rigging the 2009 election in favor of the incumbent, who later accused him of embezzling money from the treasury; the Vietnamese parliament elected a military general to replace its president, who, while being investigated for bribery, resigned from the presidential office he'd taken over from his predecessor, who himself had resigned after 539 of his subordinates were implicated in multiple corruption rackets; and Tunisia's incumbent president, who last month arrested dozens of members of the nation's largest opposition party, was inaugurated for a second term. 13 14 15 16 17 18 “Vipers,” he said at his swearing in, are “circulating.” 19 #Politics

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17/10/2024

[2024-10-17 Thu 18:27]

I was reading Messiri's "Rehlati al-fikriah", and he mentioned something very interesting there about Paul Fussell, the renowned literary historian, apparently he was one of his PhD external examiners. But that's not the interesting thing, it is what he mentions about him: being a homosexual pervert. I was shocked from the information that Messiri mentioned about him, that I quickly jumped to Wikipedia searching for anything with the keyword "gay", "homosexual", etc.. Nothing (surprisingly) was there, I started to think that Messiri might have linked to some other Paul Fussel. I then tried to search Google with keywords like "homosexual" "Paul Fussel", still, nothing there. I was finally certain that either Messiri is talking about someone else, or this information were discrete. Then I read a post on HN that was talking about Kagi, a less screwed (suckless) search engine, it quickly linked me to the information Messiri mentioned about Fussel (his wife article about their relationship and how he would like to enter a room full of guests naked) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnacdOIoTBQ I don't frequently post here, or anywhere, unlike past times. Lately I explored one of my friend's music library, he told me how it's extremely diverse, he was correct about it. I later wondered if that has anything to do with a disorder that he suffers from, which relates to his ear. I wonder if how his music changes has anything to do with how that acoustic disorder affect his music taste. I also wondered if there's anything about me that affects my frequency of writing here. Sometimes it's fascinating —even if you believe in free will— how unfree we might be. How we might have the wrong ideas because the search engine chooses not to be helpful enough, or have different views due to a biological state. Related.

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03/08/2024

I really like Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy's PDFs (preview here), however, they do not allow you to download it without a subscription. It's actually good enough for a subscription if you compare it to the HTML. For someone like me, my HTML appetite can not hold more than few long articles, SEP average entry is about 50 pages or so, that's not a long article even. Here's how I get their entries as nice PDFs without subscription, simply save the article part of the HTML page into a file, and using pandoc run: vpandoc concept_of_religion.html --pdf-engine=xelatex -o concept_of_religion.pdf --variable=documentclass:book -V geometry:b5paper -V margin=3cm -V mainfont="Times New Roman" #Philosophy

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01/02/2024

I am considering reading Don Quixote. But I'm still unsure. I think there are so many books that are propagated around and everywhere merely because of pseudointellectuality. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy was one of those novels that I had a similar experience with. It's one of the most unreadable novels in my opinion, however, it's always considered either #1 or #2 best works by people who post book ratings on book communites. After I read it back then, due to the severe amount of recommendation, I was surprised that it's hardly a plain, and very long, novel, I tried to find later someone to discuss my view with him about the novel, I could only find people majored in literature who can discuss it, but theoretically only, and I found out that most of the people who recommenced it to me never actually read it. #Literature

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23/01/2024

I like thinking about names, they usually reflect people's dreams and values, many times I feel devastated when contemplating names, like when find a convicted thief named Ali I usually think that their parents did find great values in the historical character of Imam Ali that they wished to recall in their child, and how sad it went. I personally believe that names have a great effect on us. Which is not debatable [from a theory-of-complexity perspective]. But how can they shape our personalities? A study once showed that boys who are given names more common among girls are more likely to develop behavioral problems when they reach puberty[cite:@figlio-2005-boys-named-sue], but the reason behind that itself is very obvious (likely to be). What about their effect on our innersole? I think there should be. The priming effect is one that proves it, however, it's very controversial, but let me tell you about it. Priming is the idea that exposure to one stimulus may influence a response to a subsequent stimulus, without conscious guidance or intention. The stimulus itself can be a subliminal stimuli, for example, if someone were to read you an article about people in a retirement home, your subconscious recalls old people, who walk very slow, the Priming theorists believe that this might actually cause you to walk slightly slower as result of your subconscious thinking. And if you were to experience the same thing but with talking about top football players, you might walk faster. Interesting theory no? Unfortunately it has great problems in documenting the experiments[cite:@bower-2012].

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16/01/2024

I've a simple take on marriage and relationships that does not involve my radical thoughts about family, I think it should very obvious, but I find myself have to point it out in many discussions. And it's basically about the struggle that occurs because of class differential between couples, it can be reduced to a simple imbalance or dependency issue. My view derives from the historical nature of the relationship between men and women. Historically speaking, there's a very interesting fact in the very maiden year of human slavery, that's, female slavery appeared earlier that male's[cite:@lerner-1983-women]. To understand the significance of that let us understand why slavery ever appeared; slavery is something that is as new as civilization to the H. sapiens, actually slavery only dates back to 3500 BC[cite:@tetlow-2004-sumer], most anthropologists explain this emergence as related to the new production techniques that were adopted and led eventually to a the first class division known in history. The interesting thing here is that, this division happened earlier to females, they were enslaved but not only by higher class but by an opposite (equal) gender. This happened because the new intensive production techniques tended to prioritize men’s labour over women’s for the first time which was not the case at all: women used to be as productive and their labour was as much important as men's in the pre-horticulture era[cite:@friedl-1975-women p. 28]. What is to be learnt from this historical fact? Well, basically the more differences in power between parties the more pulverization is likely to occur. Consequently, when you apply this to modern-relationships decisions you will find that many people did not learn this basic lesson of history yet. #Modus Vivendi

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15/01/2024

My friend sent me this episode from a pop-science TV series [Arabic]; https://youtu.be/CFeW61i_MLA it has English subtitle. I'd love to share Nietzsche view of the matter[cite:@DawnofDay no. 17]: Goodness and malignity. At first men imposed their own personalities on Nature: everywhere they saw themselves and their like, i.e. their own evil and capricious temperaments, hidden, as it were, behind clouds, thunder-storms, wild beasts, trees, and plants: it was then that they declared Nature was evil. Afterwards there came a time, that of Rousseau, when they sought to distinguish themselves from Nature: they were so tired of each other that they wished to have separate little hiding-places where man and his misery could not penetrate: then they invented “nature is good.” #The Power of Understanding Human Nature

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04/01/2024

I think I've a nice tip on that, although it might sounds very naive, it really helped me personally. I think that the reason behind post-achievement depression is that we forget why we wanted whatever we achieved or that we no longer possess the same perspectives that made us want that thing, the reason behind that is usually the long period that is dedicated on achieving it, in which you are likely to change more. That's why it's most common in academia especially with people getting their Ph.D after 5 years of work or even more. So basically we forget why we want something and how we felt towards wanting it (think of it like someone working 2 years to earn an Ijazah believing it to be a great achievement, but they turn atheist in the second year). So my tip is basically a usage of intensive imagination in a different stages of what we want.

And this does not have to be a protection from depression to be honest, but it

can be used as a refreshing method to really understand our passions and what we "really" want (not what we ought to by collective consciousness or propaganda): think of yourself getting it and estimate your happiness or satisfaction.

  • [2025-04-12 Sat 18:40] As of now, I'm not really sure if this method will work properly for most people, as most of us generate these delusional views about how things are going to be like after the achievement. See also: On Depression. #Modus Vivendi
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19/10/2022

"I will not add, I will diminish; I will train myself down to the standard of what is unchangeably true. Day by day I drop off my redundancies; ere long I shall have stripped my ribs; when I die, they will but bury my spine." —Mardi

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c. lr0 2025